Best Download [Jessica Lahey] ☆ The Gift of Failure || [Horror Book] PDF ✓

By Jessica Lahey | Comments: ( 751 ) | Date: ( Jun 18, 2019 )

We are the generation that invented over parenting For all our best intentions to protect our children from tripping up rushing to school to deliver forgotten lunches, or correcting their homework to ensure they gain top marks we are in danger of depriving them of the most important lessons of childhood.As Jessica Lahey demonstrates, disappointments, rejections and crWe are the generation that invented over parenting For all our best intentions to protect our children from tripping up rushing to school to deliver forgotten lunches, or correcting their homework to ensure they gain top marks we are in danger of depriving them of the most important lessons of childhood.As Jessica Lahey demonstrates, disappointments, rejections and criticism are actually opportunities in disguise Again and again, the students from her classes who have gone on to become the happiest and most successful adults are the ones who were allowed to suffer the consequences of their mistakes.In this fascinating book, packed with case studies and practical advice, Lahey proposes a gentle but vital shift in the way we parent She urges us to step back and trust our children, and allow them to experience the joy of succeeding on their terms rather than ours.


  • Title: The Gift of Failure
  • Author: Jessica Lahey
  • ISBN: null
  • Page: 283
  • Format: Kindle Edition

About Author:

Jessica Lahey

Jessica Lahey is a writer, teacher, and speaker Her column, The Parent Teacher Conference, is published bi weekly at the New York Times Motherlode blog, and examines the intersection of education and parenting She is a contributing writer at the Atlantic, and while her usual beat is education, she also writes about health and politics, sometimes with her co author and husband, Tim Lahey You can also find her commentaries at Vermont Public Radio Jessica lives in New Hampshire.



Comments The Gift of Failure

  • Ken

    Sure, this book is for teachers in a way, but it's for parents in a bigger way. The title says it all, and if you live in a competitive district where grades and sports and status are the be-all, end-all, you've come to the right book. Too bad you're probably a teacher like Lahey. Too bad you're the choir being preached to. What we need, then, are willing parents. "Willing" as in "to listen." If we can get parents that far (at least the ones who need this), I expect Lahey's arguments and researc [...]


  • Marie

    “Children whose parents don’t allow them to fail are less engaged, less enthusiastic about their education, less motivated and ultimately less successful than children whose parents support their autonomy.”The bottom line of this book written by parent and educator, Jessica Lahey, is don’t bail your children out. They need to learn from their mistakes. They need to learn how to organize themselves, regulate themselves and deal with mishaps in the world they live in now so that they can b [...]


  • Ali Murphy

    I started reading this book at the beginning of the week, two days later I got an email from my sixth grader's math teacher to let me know that he was failing. My child was failing mostly because of lack of effort, laziness and poor organizational skills. We have offered help and tutors to no avail. So when the email popped into my inbox it was the perfect time to make a stand. This book helped reinforce our very firm belief that it is up to our children to do the work. We can offer help and sup [...]


  • Donna

    HmmmI liked the first half of this book. The author, an educator, detailed the problems kids develop when they have parents who hover and who are overly protective (even protecting them from any consequences, absolving them from any wrong doing.) She also talked about not sending mixed messages to the kids and how easy it was for parents to fine tune their dialogue when talking with children. This sounded very positive, well and good.So, what was the problem? In the last half, the angry teacher [...]


  • Kristen

    This book is a synthesis of the ideas of many good recent books on growth mindset, motivation, over parenting, etc. Because it's not as narrowly focused or research-driven, it's easy for parents to read and has many great reminders. Whether these ideas are new to readers or not, going against the cultural flow takes encouragement and reinforcement, which The Gift of Failure provides.


  • Courtney

    Read this book while your kids are young if possible! I've read articles about this topic but an entire book devoted to the subject was more helpful than just an article. This is something I struggle with daily and have been working on for a couple of years. It is NOT easy! I sincerely hope I haven't completely ruined my children and can continue to change my ways before it's too late! The book offers some ideas and insight into how to let go and makes some great points about letting kids set th [...]


  • Kimberly Simpson

    A very helpful book. I love the quote, "Out of love and desire to protect our children's self-esteem, we have bulldozed every uncomfortable bump and obstacle out of the way, clearing the manicured path we hoped would lead to success and happiness. Unfortunately, in doing so we have deprived our children of the most important lessons of childhood. The setbacks, mistakes, miscalculations, and failures we have shoved out of our children's way are the very experiences that teach them how to be resou [...]


  • Tess

    4.25 starsA very interesting read about the importance of intrinsic motivation and how we need to give kids more responsibility and let them learn through the experience of failure. Lots of great ideas. I'd recommend for any of my GR friends who happen to be parents too.


  • Kris

    The thesis of the book is spot-on and this is a much-needed message for many parents who, out of love, seek to "protect" their children from any disappointment, frustration, or failure. Lahey argues, correctly, that such "protection" robs children of opportunities to learn, grow, and become more competent and confident.I thought the book was worthwhile overall, though if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have read the entire thing but rested content with what I got out of the first few chapt [...]


  • Rita Shaffer

    I am not sure that there was really anything in this book that I didn't already know, but it was really good to feel validated in my thinking. I think as parents we will forever question if we are doing the right things to raise independent, self confidant children who will be happy, productive adults - this book shares some great thinking about this. This is also a good read for teachers. I have to admit that I started reading as teacher, but read most of the book as the mom of an amazing, alth [...]


  • Rebecca

    Fantastic book. I am determined to let my kids fail!!The ability to attend to a task and stick to long-term goals is the greatest predictor of success, greater than academic achievement, extracurricular involvement, test scores, and IQ . . . . Gritty students succeed, and failure strengthens grit like no other crucible. p xxi Every time we rescue, hover, or otherwise save our children from a challenge, we send a very clear message: that we believe they are incompetent, incapable, and unworthy of [...]


  • Lauren

    This is a great and interesting read, and I was amen-ing it ALL up and down until she got to the part about applying her theory to recess time or children's free play time. She cites one study from New Zealand that found that when teachers stopped interfering in children's free play time at recess, there was less bullying and other positive benefits, but that's pretty much the only scientific data in that chapter. The rest seems anecdotal, from rearing her own children and observations at the pl [...]


  • Katie Tatton

    It's easy to like a book that goes along nicely with what you already think, and The Gift of Failure fit the bill for me. The idea that parents protecting their children from failure is actually a disservice in the long run resonated with me. We've seen the 5th grade science fair projects that were hatched and completed by parents and that type of hovering is easy to dismiss as helicoptering, but it's harder to let my kids stretch and grow when high school grades are on the line. We are currentl [...]


  • Loralee

    This book was disappointing in a lot of ways. I agree with her overall idea, that parents today largely overindulge their children and shield them from every possible negative outcome, and this is a big problem. My parenting philosophy is that I (generally) refuse to do something for my child that he/she can do for themselves. This, of course, requires that the child has been taught and given adequate preparation/training for that particular task. Lahey sadly seems to believe that after giving b [...]


  • Ms Mac

    I basically enjoyed this book, I think some of the advice, particularly about how we undermine children's intrinsic motivation in the pursuit of "performance" is very good, and something a lot of parents and educators need to hear. Lahey is a friendly, engaging writer and pleasant to spend time with. And as a teacher, I found her descriptions of difficult parent/teacher interactions hilarious.Unfortunately, I don't know that she's always aware how circumstances can differ. Lahey is very comforta [...]


  • Amy

    Thesis: kids learn more from having room to fail. Protecting them from failure is not a long-term solution to learning how to become an adult.I just wish this book acknowledged that the "crisis" of overparenting is limited to certain incomes and cultural outlooks, just like college admissions frenzy books are limited to students applying to ivies. in a sense, if you are worried about over parenting, you're in a darn fortunate position to begin with and you are well in America's minority.


  • KrisTina

    I liked this book. She had a lot of great points about how the whole point of being a parent is raising a child to leave the house - by doing everything for them you instead make sure that you always have your job - but a job you don't really want at that point. A lot of great things - but then she focused a lot on middle school/high school and I'm just not in that stage of life right now so it got a little long.


  • Deirdre

    One of the best books I have read on parenting and teaching which was recommended by a colleague who was a former principal/now guidance counselor. I strongly recommend parents, teachers and coaches read this book! Lahey shares a variety of trends observed by teachers like herself (from N.H) where the wave of overparenting has resulted in students who are inflexible thinkers that memorize and regurgitate information they are unable to manipulate in innovative ways. Worse, there is a rise in stud [...]


  • Erika

    I honestly believe every teacher and parent on the planet should read this book. Whether your child is three or 23, whether you teach preschool or college, each and every chapter and anecdote rang true in my bones! I have already started radically changing chores/homework/perceptions around our house and my own attitude about many, many things. If you need advice on homework, sports, recess problems, grades, or college applications; it's in here!!


  • Amber

    This book was a good wake-up call that I'm not doing my kids any good when I swoop in and rescue them when things get hard. They need to learn to do the hard stuff and sometimes, OK, most of the time they are going to fail. But failure is not a bad thing. It is through this failure that they learn how to do better the next time. The ideas in this book are great, but for me, they are so hard to do. It is hard to see my kids upset, or to struggle with something, or to not get time to relax because [...]


  • Kevin Egan

    Loved the book from the very beginning. Loved all the practical advise and reflections that Jessica gives. I am totally convinced that failure really makes our kids resilient and helps prepare them for real life in order to enjoy instead of endure it.All parents who want to start off well the formation of their kids should have this book close at hand.Teachers also.


  • Nicole

    Highly recommend for all parents & teachers. Many thought-provoking ideas about raising competent and contributing children who understand and value lessons they learn along the way – including failure.


  • Juliana

    Good advice here on letting go. Of course, I've never been accused of being a Tiger Mom. I'm not even a Soccer Mom. I'm more of a--let-me-surround-you-with-books-and-you-figure-it-out mom. But there were some good common sense tips herein.


  • Darin Mirante

    An essential practical guide for all teachers and all parents of school-age children. Themes of autonomy as the goal in development, ideal teacher-parent partnership, and the goal of long-term success even if it comes at the expense of short-term success.


  • Melissa

    This book is about natural consequences which I agree with but it also lumps all kids in the same boat. Some kids don’t get natural consequences no matter how many times they deal with them.


  • Rebecca

    Some things I'd already heard, some new, mostly on why we need to let kids fail when the stakes are low so they have resiliency when the stakes are high. The school gave all us parent reps copies as a present at the end of the year, which I'm taking as a hint that as a population, we're not doing too well on this with our kids.


  • Mediaman

    This well-intentioned book from a middle school teacher was not anywhere near as good as I expected based on the title. It does point out a big problem with parents and educators being unwilling to let children fail. However, the "solutions" the author comes up with are mediocre at best and offer no proof of resulting in improved long-term benefits. She quotes a few really odd, minor studies about what motivates children (basically concluding that you need to just leave them alone!) but she neve [...]


  • Tanya

    Key points to ponder (and reinforce):The more that students are able to come up with their own choices and their own details for an activity or project, the more invested they are in the project and the more successful--particularly if success is defined as autonomous with true learning for the love of learning's sake. A self-reliant kid is more competent and connected to others and that feels great to him (and his parents).Children who possess experiential competence are safer because they do n [...]


  • Becky

    I listened to this book over the course of a week and thoroughly enjoyed its message. Over so many decades, children have been moved from contributing members of a household (helping with farms etc) to non contributing members who only have the job to attend school and be a kid and have fun. Parents are doing everything for kids from laundry and household chores, and completing homework for them, to getting involved in quarrels with siblings, friends and teachers. If parents continue to not let [...]


  • Vivian

    I would have loved to have this book about 20 years ago, when my own children were young. My husband and I were trying to find our way, based on our own upbringing, with raising our children in an environment where their friends rarely heard the word "no" from their parents, and asking kids to do household chores was an anomaly. We stuck to our guns, with some bloopers, and blundered our way through childhood and adolescence. All seems to be well, but we are still on call for advice for our youn [...]


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  • Best Download [Jessica Lahey] ☆ The Gift of Failure || [Horror Book] PDF ✓
    283 Jessica Lahey
  • thumbnail Title: Best Download [Jessica Lahey] ☆ The Gift of Failure || [Horror Book] PDF ✓
    Posted by:Jessica Lahey
    Published :2019-03-18T15:40:40+00:00